Feelings

So I've been busy and not feeling my healthiest.

It's ok, though, because I always bounce back. Im back! Let's get this party started. I've had these stupid fake nails on since my little vacation, and I can't type. I been struggling with typing and texting so if you read all my fuck ups sorry yall, its my nails that get in my way. 

I want to express my emotions tonight (as if I haven't already done this).  I've been on a real high since my vacation. It really was a huge deal for me to even have boarded that plane. No bull, I really do have a huge fear of flying. I really am proud of myself for doing that. For many years, due to my severe anxiety, I was also afraid to leave my home. It was really hard for me to leave my room because I felt I would literally die if I left. I know that sounds extreme, but it's true. I have a fear of leaving my comfort zone because if I leave, I will have a massive panic attack in public, and people will watch me die. 

Last year, in 2024, I was really challenged because I had multiple deaths in my family and friendships. Due to that, I knew I would have to make it to funerals nd gatherings. so I put on my big girl pants and traveled to Nevada. Thankfully, it wasn't that bad of a trip, and I made it without panic. Going into this year, 2025, I changed my mindset and forced myself to be brave and to want to travel. Texas was one of the places I've always wanted to visit, and so when the opportunity (financially) presented itself, I took it. now coming back and realizing how much more there is to see. Now, I want to do it again. I didn't expect to go back out again so soon, but a new opportunity to travel has presented itself yet again, and Hell yes, I'm taking it. So, at the end of  May, I'll be on a road trip to Arizona. This one is special because it's my sister's graduation, and I wouldn't miss that for the world. 

I don't think I've talked about my family, but I am the middle daughter of three girls and have one older brother. Yes, I am the most rebellious and loud of all. It's safe to say that I am also the black sheep of the family. I definitely have broken away from the traditions of our family upbringing, and some people love me or hate me. I have always been and will forever be unapologetically me. If I am to be real honest with you all, I feel that people just don't understand me because I have a unique way of expressing myself. The ones who get me, get me. Thank you guys, for that. With that said, I'd like to leave my siblings a little note to end this blog post.

To my siblings:

although we all might not have always been the best twords eachother or stayed connected as much as we should. Don't ever forget that regardless of our past, y'all are stuck with me as your sister. I know I've triggered you in the past, but I promise you I've grown up. I love you, and I am happy to be stuck with all of you in this life. Vero, I'm super proud of your accomplishments in school. I can't wait to vacation and celebrate with you in Arizona! Ernie, you're an awesome, present father who raised those amazing kids, and Jenny, you gave us Amelia, the light of our lives, and you're the best mommy. I love you all.

Aint nuthing sweeter than a Clinton streeter!